Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

(1984) dir. Steven Spielberg
viewed: 09/28/07

My ongoing push to expose my son to the better parts of children’s films continued here with this second helping of Indiana Jones, the first sequel to the far better and much more classic Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), which he and his friend enjoyed, cowering behind pillows through much of the action.  The funny thing is that this movie actually pretty much sucks.  It’s not only a shadow of the first film, it actually lacks any of the spontaneity and panache that the original enjoyed.  And it features the absolutely horrendous Kate Capshaw, who even my kids couldn’t stand…or understand for that matter.  At one point, one asked, “Why does she hate him?  He saved her life!”

Anyways, it had been a long time for me with this movie.  Little of it remained fresh in my mind, but the film comes off as cornball and ludicrous.  Capshaw gets the worst of it, and to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) when she says, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”  Well, Capshaw’s character of Willie may be able to say that she was just “written” that way, but somebody thought she had brilliant comic timing.  Somebody thought wrong.

The film has its moments, and even little Jonathan Ke Quan, aka Short Round, actually retains his somewhat annoying charm.  I’d always remembered the mine cart chase sequence as the film’s best moment.  That may be so but when compared to the chase in Raiders of the Lost Ark as Jones captures the Nazi caravan…well, it’s pretty contrived and cheaper-looking to boot.

The story is a mess.  It’s outright ridiculous. The bad guys kidnap a village’s children to enslave them as miners digging for some lost stones.  And the villain’s ability to reach into someone’s chest and pull out their still-beating heart?  Well, that works.  But the whole thing is just goofball.  The meant-to-be-hilarious opening showdown in Shanghai in which a vial of antidote poison and a huge diamond are kicked about a dancefloor while Capshaw and Harrison Ford scramble to grab them…it’s lame.  I guess Spielberg can’t really manage villains that aren’t essentially Nazis.  Then again, this child kidnapping and enslavement…

The whole film has a kid-centric-ness.  With Jones’ sidekick Short Round to the freeing of the kidnapped children who rally round Jones for one of the film’s final images, there is a lot of this focus going on.  Still, it feels contrived, like a marketing plan than a real narrative arc or thematic intent.

The kids didn’t even like it half as much.  It’ll be interesting to see the 3rd installment with them sometime in the near future.  If they’ll touch it with a 10-foot pole.  I’ll just have to make sure they know that Kate Capshaw doesn’t show up in it.