P2 (2007) movie poster

(2007) dir. Franck Khalfoun
viewed: 09/01/08

Produced by Alexandre Aja of High Tension (2003) and the remake of The Hills Have Eyes (2005) “fame”, P2 is probably the worst-named film in an eon.  P2 is in reference to the underground parking level at which the violence and action of abduction happens in this weak thriller.  It’s not that when I saw the trailers for it that I thought, “Wow, got to queue that one up,” but rather “Man, that looks lame.”  So, why did I queue it to watch?  Well, the answer is that I needed something different, something easy, less brain-taxing and contemporary to watch amidst the classics and foreign flicks that have piled up in my Netflix queue.  Not necessarily looking for a breath of fresh air, rather than something to clear the palette.

It’s pretty lame.  “Starring” Rachel Nichols as the victimized executive who chose to leave work too late one Christmas Eve and Wes Bentley as the psychopathic parking attendent who loves her, kidnaps her, tortures her, and tries to feed her turkey.  Bentley is a hack, but the script is lame as shit, too.  We are given no sense of his character other than he’s just a lonely psycho with a taser and lots of video cameras and a penchant for Nichols’ boobage.  I mention Nichols’ breasts simply because they almost become a character in the film, so prominently do they bulge from her dress.

The whole movie is lacking motivation.  It’s not that it’s poorly made overall, but the whole concept is less than partially baked.  I mean, was someone walking in a parking garage late at night thinking, “Wouldn’t it be spooky if…?”  but neve really got further than that.  Man tortures woman.  He’s crazy.  She wants to get away.  Blood is spilled.  Eyes are gouged.

Palette is cleared.  Next!

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