Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood (2011) movie poster

(2011) director Catherine Hardwicke
viewed: 12/23/2011

Wow.  So awful.  So super freaking awful.

Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight (2008), apparently thought more teenage yearnings and werewolf mythologies needed to be writ.  She even brought over Bella’s dad (actor Billy Burke)  to play Red Riding Hood’s pa.

See, not every terrible movie has Nicolas Cage in it.  It does have Gary Oldman, though.  Star Amanda Seyfried has not just bee-stung lips but bee-stung eyes.

There is a village idiot.  Named Claude. “Simple” was the old fashioned pre-PC way of saying “retarded”.

Considering the film’s commitment to historical realism, they might as well have given everyone iPods and cell phones.  Truly a parable for our modern age.

The sexy folk dancing, though, takes the cake.

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