Miami Connection (1987)

Miami Connection (1987) movie poster

director Richard Park
viewed: 01/14/2015

Rediscovered and redistributed by the team from the Alamo Drafthouse and Drafthouse Films, this independently produced 1987 Tae Kwon Do action film sounds like a parodist’s fantasy version of 1980’s movie cheese: “A martial arts rock band tries to take down the motorcycle ninjas running Florida’s drug trade.” (TCM/Comcast description).  Falling into the “it has to be seen to be believed” tier of bad trash cinema, Miami Connection is an utterly sincere objet de trash, made with real love and commitment with heavy doses of poorly choreographed shirtless fighting.

I was living in North Central Florida back in 1987.  I had no idea about this movie.

It is the stuff trash cinema aficionados live for.

The martial arts rock band is called Dragon Sound and they sing rather prescient songs like “Against the Ninja” (as if they knew the finale of the film was imminent even as they so naively took the stage at the local hot spot.  They also sing songs about being “friends forever” and other positive sentiments worn lyrically on their collective sleeves.  Only this martial arts band has ousted another band in getting the gig, enraging them to rumble and to eventually invoke the help of drug dealers and ninjas.

Cheese factor 10, Mr. Sulu.

For the bad acting, fighting, singing, choreography and dialogue, the film’s production isn’t as non-professional as its cast and concept.  Filmed in Miami and Orlando, it’s as much an anomaly as anything, and to that end, it’s kind of cool.

As amused as I was by it, I hope to never have to endure it again in this lifetime.

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