Gigli (2003)

Gigli (2003) movie poster

director Martin Brest
viewed: 12/02/2015

At this point in time, I don’t know why anybody would watch Gigli.

I guess, unless like me they are working their way through the worst films of all time.  Or, more accurately, “films considered to be the worst.”

Because frankly, Gigli is not that bad a movie.  It was a huge box office bomb, sure.  But that is a different kettle of fish from a genuinely terrible movie.  And sadly, Gigli just isn’t nearly as bad as the best terrible movies ever made.  So, in that sense, it’s not really worth watching as a terrible movie.  It’s not worth watching as a decent movie either.  It’s bad but all lower case bad.  Though the ending, that last scene or set of scenes on “The Baywatch” almost push it to the grandiose of badness.

Martin Brest, who both Beverly Hills Cop (1984) and the well-appreciated Midnight Run (1988) delivered this Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez stinker to the rave hates of the world in 2003 and went down in movie bomb history.  And bomb it did.  Bad it is.  But its level of bad is mitigated with moments of good, qualities, and simply by the fact that it’s nowhere as bad as any film that belongs on the true list of all time bad movies.

Jennifer Lopez is hot and sexy and has one of the film’s best scenes, doing yoga and touting the qualities of ladies everywhere and the sexual appeal of women in general.  And Affleck, who I don’t really like that much but also don’t hate as much as I maybe could, they are both at the heights of their early 2000’s sex symbolism.  And he’s funny and okay.

The film bewilderingly features an all too brief cameo by Christopher Walken.  Has Christopher Walken ever not been worth his screentime?  And then there is Al Pacino at his Al Pacinoish.  Okay, I really hate Al Pacino.  Maybe Al Pacino in the 1970’s is good but Al Pacino ever since is just absolutely over-the-top atrocious.

And I’d be remiss to overlook the Rain Man (1988) stylings of Justin Bartha, the kidnapee who loves hip hop and plays a lot of comic relief.  I don’t know if we’ll ever have a social uprising for people with various either mental illnesses or mental deficiencies or syndromes, but it would be easy to imagine him as a Steppin Fetchit of a kind, an amazingly lame-ass version of someone with a mental disability or what-have-you.  I don’t blame Bartha.  It’s a role.  But it’s a very sad role and a super silly and annoying one.

So, yes, Gigli is bad. Gigli. “It rhymes with ‘really’”. It really rhymes with ‘really’. As in “really not worth your time or effort” for the heights of quality or the depths of terribleness. It is neither. And still a waste of 2 hours. So, again, I don’t know why in this day and age anyone would watch Gigli. At least, let me save you the effort.

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