The Video Dead (1987)

The Video Dead (1987) movie poster

director  Robert Scott
viewed: 02/10/2018

I quite enjoyed this.

Low-budget and direct-to-video in its day, The Video Dead today is a groovy and different slant on the zombie movie. These zombies come from an old television set, accidentally delivered to a home in good old Somewhere, USA. These zombies aren’t typical by general zombie movie standards and the television and the backstory of how this whole thing came into being,…well, it’s just as well that there is no explanation. It’s better that way.

It’s sort of the lack of explanation that winds up being evocative. Like the “Garbageman” and the sexy zombie girl he kills. I mean, how do you introduce the “Garbageman” and then never see him again? Where some might see plot holes, I felt intrigued by what wasn’t there.

The make-up and design of the creatures is really pretty awesome for such a low-budget affair. And I also liked how the dead have personalities, curiosity, and even senses of humor rather than just some endless longing for brains.

Fun stuff.

Death Metal Zombies (1995)

Death Metal Zombies (1995)

director Todd Jason Cook
viewed: 12/01/2017

How apropos that a movie titled Death Metal Zombies would feature a plot point of playing a song backwards to reverse the possession apocalypse.

“What? Do you think I’ve got some kind of machine that will play a tape backwards?”
“Don’t you?”
“No such thing.”

It’s the kind of concept a high schooler might have dreamed up: Houston-based metal fan wins a tape of his favorite metal band’s newest album, but when he plays it the band appears at turns him and all his friends into zombies. It’s not exactly what you call tightly scripted.

This shot-on-video affair will take you right back to 1995. Throw in a whole slew of Relapse Records death metal bands (writer/director/actor Todd Jason Cook’s coup), lots of regular folks roped into acting, occasionally getting nekkid, and some entertainingly gory effects, and you’ve got yourself some wonderfully fun amateur video.

If you’re into this kind of thing.



Oasis of the Zombies (1982)

Oasis of the Zombies (1982) movie poster

director  Jesús Franco
viewed: 11/27/2017

I sincerely prefer the living dead Nazis of cinema to actual living Nazis in the world today. But enough about me.

Oasis of the Zombies has a lot of actors, big props, and explosions in the battle sequence.  Jesús Franco must have had a decent budget on this.

Franco never seems too invested in FX or make-up design so it’s not surprising his zombie movies tend to phone that shit in.

Though slow and not a little dull, Oasis of the Zombies does get sporadically atmospheric once finally rolling.

And yes, it is probably four or five times better than Jean Rollin’s Zombie Lake (1981).

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016) movie poster

director Colm McCarthy
viewed: 09/16/2017

The zombiepocalypse over-saturation probably hasn’t peaked yet, so it’s harder than ever to make something new in this genre. The Girl with All the Gifts does try to push the zombiepocalypse a little and its efforts are not for naught.

The film opens on a young girl in a jail cell who has to be strapped down in a wheelchair and rolled by armed guards into a classroom of other young people. Right off the bat it’s a bit interesting. What is going on? Why are the kids in wheelchairs? Strapped down? Why are they being educated?

Really, most films try to tell you what’s going on from the get-go so the audience doesn’t have to figure anything out. So right there, it’s already kind of interesting.

It doesn’t totally stay with that. We find out pretty quickly that these kids are infected with a zombie fungus on the brain, but that they are different from freshly infected adults in that some sort of symbiosis exists that allows them to maintain a form of normality when they’re not hungry.

Eventually the movie goes pretty The Walking Dead, except these are speedy zombies, infecting at zero-to-sixty in a second and running fast at their food.

The film turns again toward the ending with more of its inventive qualities about these second generation zombie kids and the fungal apocalypse. I’ve always liked Gemma Arterton, who plays the good-hearted teacher. Sennia Nanua is Melanie, the girl with all the gifts, and she’s very good too.

Just sort this list of zombie films by date and you tell me when you think we’ve reached max saturation in the zombiepocalypse market.

Raiders of the Living Dead (1986)

Raiders of the Living Dead (1986) movie poster

directors Samuel M. Sherman, Brett Piper
viewed: 08/28/2017

I’ve been experimenting with something that most normal people who write extensively about movies have done for years: take notes while watching. I’m not sure I was ever much of a note taker, case in point:

  • Laser disc repair
  • Laser death ray fries pet rat
  • Cult film trivia factor 10: Zita Johann of The Mummy (1932) and the amazing The Sin of Nora Moran (1933) and Scott Schwartz, Flick of the classic A Christmas Story (1983). Talk about your 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon (does anyone talk about 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon anymore)?
  • Interesting at the same time nonsensical
  • The ending devolves into straight up expressionism

Now, having read up on Raiders of the Living Dead and its pathway to creation, I’m surprised it made any sense at all.

The House of Seven Corpses (1974)

The House of Seven Corpses (1974) movie poster

director Paul Harrison
viewed: 04/19/2017

The best thing going for the “zombie” flick, The House of Seven Corpses, is the house itself. The Utah Governor’s mansion is quite an interesting-looking place. Sadly, what goes down there isn’t all that notable.

A crew is at the house to make a horror picture. Only when they start to read from the Tibetan Book of the Dead for added realism, it manages to bring back to life the corpses buried nearby. You’ve seen this plot or its facsimiles in other, better movies.

For its lameness, it’s not a cheaply produced sort of film. John Carradine is still moderately spry for the 1970’s.

Toward the end, when the action (so to speak) ensues, the film shows flashes of switching into outright comedy. But that is a head-fake. It’s just a movie without a lot to offer or recommend.

Bloodsuckers from Outer Space (1984)

Bloodsuckers from Outer Space (1984) movie poster

director  Glen Coburn
viewed: 03/06/2017

Perhaps Glen Coburn should have heeded the famous saying: “dying is easy; comedy is hard.”

But he didn’t. And maybe for the best.

Bloodsuckers from Outer Space is low-budget regional horror-comedy that winds up being more charming that it seemingly has a right to be. Though the comedy angle is the film’s weakest point, there is something still appealing is its gleeful attempts.

Well, maybe not all of them.

And that theme song! Now, that is quality.

Doctor Butcher, M.D. (1980)

Doctor Butcher, M.D. (1980) movie poster

director Marino Girolami
viewed: 02/27/2017

Cannibals and zombies and mad doctors, oh my!

This Zombie Holocaust came to me by way of Doctor Bucther, M.D., both good movie names in my book. Apparently nonsequiturs occur more in the original version, but the film’s madcap pace keeps you from really pondering how all this stuff fits together.

What starts out in a New York hospital as weird cannibalism apparently by immigrants from the Molucca islands (which throughout the film I heard as “Mulatto Islands”) then heads to said islands to investigate. Somehow an anthropology expert who grew up in the Molucca islands (Alexandra Delli Colli) never heard of such things and alongside head doctor (Ian McCulloch) find themselves investigating this biz instead of say, the cops.

This is where the cannibals and zombies and mad doctor are. The zombies turn out to not exactly be zombies but lobotomized people who’ve endured major surgical shenanigans by the local mad doctor of the title.

It’s gory and silly and racist and peppy. And hard to not enjoy.

Burial Ground (1981)

Burial Ground (1981) movie poster

director Andrea Bianchi
viewed: 02/01/2017

For me, Burial Ground begins significantly with the poster/VHS video art. This is one of the best, most-compelling pieces of box art out there. It caught my eye time and again. So much so, I am really uncertain whether or not I’d ever actually seen the movie.

The movie itself operates in conventional ways, zombies awakened by accident, gratuitous nudity, prime gore effects, interesting zombie make-up/masks, but also operates with freedom from logic or rationality (zombies pop up out of everywhere: planters, random ground, not just “burial grounds”, that bear trap in the garden, the sudden onset of Oedipan lust.) The zombies that use utensils also seems sort of like, “what the hell!” and you know, it sort of works.

When the notorious man-child character played by Peter Bark suddenly lusts for his mother, it’s hard not to laugh in shock, or necessarily argue. Bark is such a strange-looking guy, possibly beset by some growth disease? But when he bites off that nipple, I had a flashback. Maybe I had seen all this before.

I can see why so many love this film. It still feels vaguely like a dream to me.

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay (1991)

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay (1991) DVD cover

director Kazuo Komizu
viewed: 11/14/2016

Cutie Suzuki, a Japanese professional wrestler at the time, stars in Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay, a low-budget zombie flick from the earlier 1990’s.  Kazuo Komizu, whose Entrails of a Virgin (1986) and Entrails of a Beautiful Woman (1986) were pinku weirdness, directs Suzuki here in a movie that offers a lot more narrative complexity than you might expect.

It starts with a meteor headed for Tokyo Bay which triggers the zombie apocalypse and a radical military response, a fog cloud containing the greater Tokyo area, and sets the stage for Suzuki to don one of the most ill-fitting action suits ever made to fight the big punkish butch henchladies (who I assume were also culled from Japanese pro wrestling).

On the plus side, this emanates from the earliest of the 1990’s and so features low-fi special effects and not one pixel tweaked.  There is also a battle squad of young people who sell arms to the highest bidder who take up with Battle Girl, especially once they realize how much ass she kicks.  And when she flips down her eyeglass shield.  I laughed almost every time.

On the not so plus side, it’s not quite as horrendously spectacular as you might wish.  It doesn’t push the envelope with sex nor violence, though it has a modicum of the latter.  It might be accused of being almost boring, even with a running time well below 90 minutes.

I could definitely see how this could float somebody’s boat.  Mine only somewhat.