The Carpenter (1988)

 The Carpenter (1988) movie poster

director David Wellington
viewed: 10/01/2018

Bizarrely edited and paced, The Carpenter wobbles along woozy lines of comedy, romance, and horror thriller. The film’s odd opening on a semi-dreamy woman in her house makes more sense when we come to understand that she was having a psychotic break at that moment.

Quirky by nature and design, The Carpenter is a kind of an “The Elves and the Shoemaker” turned horror film. After Alice (Lynne Adams) gets out of the funny farm, she finds herself in a newly purchased big old house with a lot of work going on in it. Only the contractors seem to be goofing off a lot and a mysterious carpenter appears at night getting all of the work done.

Luckily he’s also available to break up sexual assaults, literally disarming her attacker.

What ensues is both psychosis and love story, plus regular murders. The psychosis plays out in the film’s dreamlike tone, one that feels influenced by ineptitude perhaps more than intent (I wrote “Quaaludes” in my notes.)

Awkward a lot, fluid in bits, it’s also kind of charming in its way. Many attribute this to Wings Hauser, the carpenter, but I think Adams deserves some credit here too.

Mental breaks, philandering husband with Paul Bunyan inferiority complex, other sleazy types, it takes a good sister to rescue Alice from a dreamy killer who might be just as nightmarish as all the rest of the men.

Beyond the 7th Door (1987)

Beyond the 7th Door (1987) DVD cover

director Bozidar D. Benedikt
viewed: 06/29/2018

Starring a cadaverous frog with a heavy metal mullet (Lazar Rockwood) and a game if oddly-clad young lady (Bonnie Beck), Bozidar D. Benedikt’s Beyond the 7th Door lies somewhere beyond typical movie making. Rockwood also sports a pronounced Eastern European accent and seems the most curious selection as a lead in a film.

“What the hell you wearing?” Indeed.

Right after Rockwood gets out of prison, his ex (Beck) drags him back into the crime game, targeting her bedridden employer’s castle-like mansion for an easy burglary. Unfortunately for the duo, they land in a series of traps, escaping one door at a time, in trying to get out with both booty and their very lives.

Straight outta Canada, it’s seriously a noble effort. Certainly ridiculous, it doesn’t lack in ambition. Rockwood’s Boris sports a charming utility belt of normal stuff that he puts to use, like a tape measure to try to retrieve something out of reach. It’s proto-MacGyver on a budget.

There is a certain class of us cinephiles that dig this crazy crap.

Being Different (1981)

Being Different (1981) movie poster

director Harry Rasky
viewed: 05/08/2018

Being Different is a quasi-Exploitation documentary about “human oddities” or “freaks.” Director Harry Rasky mixes titillation with a more humanistic approach, interviewing his cast of characters, allowing them to tell their own stories of lives of difference.

By 1981 a lot of the classic freak shows had stopped touring, and yet, many notable stars of the scene were still available to interview. As cultural mores were changing, and as the freak show was falling away into the past, the beginnings of interest in this disappearing world were stirring. Perhaps this started with Daniel P. Mannix’s 1976 book Freaks: We Who Are Not As Others, but Being Different also winds up being a nice document.

The most famous fellow detailed here is doubtlessly Billy Barty, who was leading the way with his Little People of America at the time. But we also have Johann Petursson (the world’s tallest man), Dolly Reagan (the human doll), Siamese twins Ronnie and Donnie Galyon, Sandra Elaine Allen (the world’s tallest woman), and the “World’s Strangest Couple,” Percilla “The Monkey Girl” and Emmett “The Alligator Skin Boy” Bejano.  Rasky even employs a classic barker to introduce some of the folks in the lively patter that drew the curious into the tents.

This was a timely re-watch for me, having just finished re-reading Katherine Dunn’s Geek Love. I’m kind of in the mental milieu.

The Void (2016)

The Void (2016) movie poster

directors Steven Kostanski, Jeremy Gillespie
viewed: 12/27/2017

The Void is action-packed but maybe a little too ambitious for its own good. It is the kind of throwback horror that tends to excite fans of various stripes. And it does it well for the most part.

It’s John Carpenter meets Cthulhu at an isolated hospital. And seemingly more practical visuals than computer-generated.

But there’s just a little too much going on, plot-wise, even in its lean runtime. Maybe trimming about half the ideas, backstories, characters, sequences could help.

Overall I liked it. It has a lot going for it.

Screamers (1995)

Screamers (1995) movie poster

director Christian Duguay
viewed: 12/16/2017

1995’s Screamers has got a lot going for it, so its failure is kinda disappointing.  Though highly bastardized, the plot emanated from a Philip K. Dick story, the first version of the script by Dan O’Bannon. And you’ve got Peter Weller, still warm from his RoboCop movies. And the story is kind of interesting, with these evolving killing machines.

Screamers is such a 90’s movie, in its strengths and weaknesses, the latter being not just poor execution but a reliance on non-top of the line digital effects in an era when top of the line digital effects already look dated and cheap.

I saw this back in the day, and I think my feelings about it are about the same.

“It’s not an animal, it’s an upgrade.”

The Incubus (1982)

The Incubus (1982) movie poster

director  John Hough
viewed: 09/11/2017

Rapist, murderer, destroyer of uteri, and spewer of insane amounts of red semen, the incubus of The Incubus is a pretty serious masculine sexual demon. It’s some pretty outrageous stuff, even if in cinematic reality it’s more described than seen.

Director John Hough pushes the envelope in this horror thriller starring John Cassavetes. The small community of Galen is home to covens and witchhunters, demons and their prey, a whole history of such stuff (and lots of bizarre artwork on the walls in case you were missing the hints).

It actually made me quite curious about the works of writer Ray Russell, from whose novel of the same name the film was adapted.

This is an interesting one.

Phobe: The Xenophobic Experiments (1995)

Phobe: The Xenophobic Experiments (1995) DVD cover

director Erica Benedikty
viewed: 07/22/2017

O, Canada! Your Shot-on-video sci-fi is a wonder!

Erica Benedikty’s DIY Phobe: The Xenophobic Experiments is quite remarkable. I truly love that more and more of this no-budget regional homemade cinema is surfacing for our viewing pleasures.

Phobe is certainly derivative of both Predator (1987) and The Terminator (1984), with a little Star Wars thrown in. Its gloriously schlubby cast, clad in sweats and mullets, are such ultimate Canadians (am I stereotyping here?).

Really, Benedikty shows some chops and skills here, having utilized film equipment from the local television station that she worked at. But it’s really the less polished things in the film that make it so much fun, such as the cast, the performances, and the monster design. The only thing I really didn’t care for were the cheap CGI, though apparently Benedikty didn’t want to limit her vision if she didn’t have to, cheap or not.


The Brain (1988)

The Brain (1988) movie poster

director  Ed Hunt
viewed: 03/29/2017

The first 15 or so minutes of The Brain are pretty fucking prime. It’s 1980’s sci-fi/horror and culture satire with freak-out surrealism and crazy hallucinations. The comic satire of pop psychology self-help cultism starts out as mordant and hilarious.

Sadly, the movie can’t keep this pace and limps along through occasional blasts of humor, cheap practical creature effects, and a lot of running and chasing. Still, you’ve got this lovely/awful “brain” behind it all, which controls people’s minds and causes hallucinations in those it cannot control, that also manages to eat people and grow. It’s like a long-lost “Madball” toy on steroids.

This comes from Ed Hunt, he of Bloody Birthday (1981) and features David Gale (so well appreciated in Re-Animator (1985). That’s not real pedigree for this Canadian science fiction slash horror silliness, but it doesn’t need one.

Tom Bresnahan plays Jim, perhaps one of the most obnoxious teenage heroes ever to grace the silver screen. I kept rooting for him to get bitch-slapped.

Still, that opening sequence. And WTF with sodium?

Dead Ringers (1988)

Dead Ringers (1988) movie poster

director David Cronenberg
viewed: 01/06/2017

Dead Ringers and its predecessor 1986’s The Fly have struck me on rewatching as two of David Cronenberg’s most emotionally evocative films. That is far from the most common epithet thrown his way, and my weekend watch of Dead Ringers quite surprised me.

Both films deal with a love affair between and man and a woman that is brought to ultimate tragedy by the dissolution of the male lead. The devolution of Jeff Goldblum in The Fly is mostly physical and resultingly psychological. For Jeremy Irons in Dead Ringers, it’s a deep psychosis released through a drug-induced mental dissolution, complicated by the fractured selfs that Irons plays in the roles of twins Beverly and Elliot Mantle. The tragedy is doubled.

Back when I first saw this, on cable, probably a year after it came out, I remember wondering if this was at all a true story or where the idea had come from. In the pre-internet, knowledge was not a click away. Interestingly it was adapted from a novel titled Twins by Bari Wood and Jack Geasland which was inspired by the strange deaths of Stewart and Cyril Marcus, with a lot of artistic license employed, especially since it seems very little was known about their deaths.

Geneviève Bujold is herself very evocative, a somewhat tortured soul used to personal pleasures and pain. It’s her openness that initially frees Beverly from the constraints of his fraternal prison, but as she turns him on to drugs, he has no strength to fight against the downrush of addiction or the vast ruptures in his psyche.

Though I’d seen it before, I found the final scene amazingly effective and emotionally gutting, as the twins are dead in a grotesque Pietà, with one eviscerated and the other collapsed upon him.

Cronenberg’s films, if anything, are often cold to the touch. Is it strange that these two from the late 1980’s are so strikingly emotional?

Fido (2006)

Fido (2006) movie poster

director Andrew Currie
viewed: 09/03/2016

Fido is a kinder, gentler zombie comedy.  Less gore (though not gore-free), with a softer spot in its heart than one might expect.

Fido does come from 2006, four years before TV’s The Walking Dead would create a zombie ubiquity in our universe.  Fido also, somewhat significantly, comes from Canada, which may account for aspects of its slightly unusual bent.

Opening on a mock 1950’s-style newsreel that tells the origin of the film’s personal zombie apocalypse, we are brought into this suburban fantasy, the nuclear family, in a world that survived the zombie apocalypse and has ways of neutralizing and enslaving zombies.  Director/co-writer Andrew Currie riffs on this Leave It to Beaver era North American town and the culture of it and below it.

Carrie-Anne Moss is a welcome presence as “the Mom” and Billy Connolly plays “Fido”, the zombie that the family has taken in as a status symbol and eventual family pet.

While it doesn’t begin to achieve greatness, it rarely flags from being affable and likable.